| I try to remember last year’s November… I remember that it was colder. A snap of frosty weather hit us, and as I recall, it stayed for a large portion of the month. I often wore my scarf to work, walking the same route as this year, only I had used my umbrella far less frequently. Last November, an experiment began, much like the one that ended this November. The results of the former were decidedly more favourable. This time last year, I anticipated the beginning of grad school classes, while this year, I eagerly await their end, and somewhat more anxiously, the project deadlines and exams that close in on me from all sides (well only that one side, really). Though a year has passed since last November, things in general do not seem much different. However, some specific things have definitely changed. The place above the store that sold German chocolates no longer sells dim sum; the store itself is now a lot for lease; the grocer by the cockroach strip is now ‘Mex Burrito’; the McDonalds mall (where Fairchild was) is now a construction site, soon to be a Whole Foods; I have freed up much freezer space; almost everyone I know is working; and oh yeah, the Canucks had a few things replaced. Some things that haven’t changed: I still am, and want to be, me; I still contemplate and think too much, hanging on to the foolish notion that we are more than the sum of our parts. This despite being told everyday, in one way or the other, that this is not the case. I still look for purpose, truth, the meaning of existence. I still feel it is important to understand our actions, thinking, and desires, lest we be controlled by forces other than those we choose. These things may very well be imaginary, and perhaps nothing really matters. I may realize this, some day. This day, however, is certainly not today. A wise sci-fi fantasy writer once said: “if in the end, nothing we do matters, then all the matters is what we do”, so I will soldier on. Need: CGS D, MSFHR JGS, therapy or drugs (?), less cynicism. Thought of the Day: On the inside, we are all weird and strange, because we are, afterall, unique. If we do not show others who we (really) are, but instead act as we are expect to, we will forever be alone. Showing them will not, however, gurantee an end to loneliness. That would be FAR too easy. Body Count: 735 +1 + 2 +9 +11 +2 +6 +7 +1 +22 = 796 |
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